Extremely long hiatus, I know. I seem to have grown out of Xanga and moved onto Myspace. I doubt anyone will read this, thats why i'm going to write what I feel right now.

Is it possible to be friends after all that happened? Is it possible for me to start suppressing my feelings for him and see him as just a friend, even give him advice about his girlfriend. Is it possible to look at his picture and feel that "caring" love rather than loving love. I dont know, but what I do know is that I don't think i'll ever get over him entirely. Even if one day me and him really are just good friends...i'll always want him in that way deep deep down inside hidden in my subconscious. He's what i've been looking for, and I let it get away. I never knew I would find someone like him, and no one understood why i liked him so much. I would have been so good for him. I'm an idiot..and pathetic. He'll realize it for sure, he'll realize what he lost in me. Maybe he won't though, maybe he will never be able to love me like i love him. This is so unfair, what is this test? What am I suppose to learn? Will I ever feel this way about someone else again? ... i really don't want to. I want these feelings to be exclusive to him, I only want to associate this love with him. No one else has that right to share this feeling with him, i just want him. Even if someone else came into my life that did make me feel this way, would i be just as happy? Would they be him? God no, how could they be?

Fuck this I dont know anymore...I just have to accept this unrequited love for...forever.

"Exasperation. It's the New Black...."

I really, really like Nicole Ritchie & Lindsay Lohan (guilty pleasure..so sue me) BUT, what is UP seriously with the shrinking madness. They absolutely look like bobble head dolls. Damn...lay off the bloww !

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So, it seems as if i'm NOT going away for vacay =\  my cousins are coming here instead; it still shall be fun taking them around though.

Anyone here about that turkish NYU student that put $6 million into his account by writing fake checks? Sheesh, and supposedly he was really smart too. This kind of reminds me of that movie with Leo DiCaprio, Catch me if you can.

i'll update later when i'm not in the school library and burdened by psych statistics =\

yayy...going to Cyprus this summer from June - July with my 1 & Only Beerr.....noo parents in a foreign country? Oh yea. Drunken Airplane flight? You betcha. Holding a "who can hook up more" contest in 4 weeks? Ahh shiit...FINALLY DOIN THIS !!!

But in other, rather HIGHLY IMPORTANT NEWS...

Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...how could he?? she's like...ughh...B-LIST!! Tom, Tom. Tom...my baby, my hubby...don't bring yourself down like thattt. ='(  Haven't you learned from Brad? If your first semi A-list girl screws you over (Jenn A.) you DONT move onto a cheaper graadee! You move it on up baby and Angelina Jolie suuree as hell is an upgrade...Ughh someone get him an A-List girlfriend!!

hi hii...whats up personas? im in the computer lab waiting on Gigi to get out so we can work up a sweat on the courts. i'm drinkin iced chai latte which is a bad idea cause now i gotta pee like a mofo! haha ... so yea.

summertiimmee im going to kibris for good..me & beer ahh i love you so much biatch ; we're gonna have so much fun, and being away from new york is going to be so therapeutic..ughh cant wait. i miss my family & cousins like crazy =(

but meanwhile back here in dandy ol' queens, lifes been so routine. school/work/study...i need change dudes. and i gotta start saving up my $$ for a car, i really want a used pathfinder. wahoo..SUVs are sexay.

oooooo yea... Wycleff Jean is coming to our campus for a concert ! May 4th around 8ish i think...anyone interested plss let me know, i think it could be prettyy cool. i wanted to go see Alicia Keys & John Legend but that shit got sold out in 15 minutes =\

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ya know, you'd think celebs made enough money to actually buy clothes that are good quality :

Nice undies Ashlee, really..whered ya get them?

ok, & now...magic :

whats so magical about Victoria Beckham looking astonishing like always? ...she just had a baby 6 WEEKS ago!

Dang mama. can you say MILF? haha

Yup Yup...im going Pre-Med; lets see how long this will last lol.

I have an attention problem, I get ridiculously bored very quickly. I change jobs every 3 months, I tire of boys every 3 months, now i'm switching majors every 3 months ha...its insane in the membranee.

By the way, i'm bored.